Sales just happens to be one of those professions that people LOVE giving advice about. Few things in life are as amusing as the confidence of an armchair expert who offers to teach you how to do your job.
We compiled some unsolicited sales advice that’ll have steam coming out your ears. Let’s dive right in!
“Having trouble dealing with rejection? Get used to it!”
Of course, if you’re a salesperson, you’ll have to strip down to your most emotionless state of mind. No emotions means no depression, no burnout, no anxiety, and no stress. Imagine how much you’ll save in mental healthcare costs!
Because, of course, having emotions = failure.
Forget you’re a human being worthy of respect. Understand that you shouldn’t be upset even if your prospect crosses all boundaries, cusses at you, and calls you incompetent.
“Trust your gut.”
Who cares about lead scores? You have a feeling they’re gonna love you, and that’s all that matters. Who cares if they have neither the budget nor any use for your product? Just go for it!
You can’t always rely on science and algorithms to do your job. Even if they make life easier. Trust no man, trust no science. The only person you can trust in this cold, competitive world is yourself.
“Have a pizza.”
Not a lot of companies have vibrant, fun work environments. So you just know it’s a great place to be when they have pizza parties. CRMs with decayed data stressing you out? Have a pizza!
You may be struggling under the weight of unrealistic quotas. You may be on the verge of a complete burnout. But let’s just focus on how fun it is to be part of a “family”.
But what if the pizza party and fun work culture aren’t working out for you? No worries! Here’s your 41st company-branded coffee mug that you can neither use nor give to anybody. That should do the trick!
“Sales isn’t really all that hard. You just have to get people to like you.”
Smile. Really, that’s it!
If you have the basic innate human ability to smile, you’re a salesperson. Because sales is all about meeting new people, being talkative, and getting people to like you.
So smile. Talk a lot. Be fun. Show up to each presentation with a wide grin and some doughnuts as a symbol of goodwill. Because knowing your product and demonstrating its value to your prospect isn’t as important as knowing how to smile and charm prospects with small talk.
You’ll be closing deals in no time. Trust me.
“Take a deep breath.”
Take a deep breath and move on. Because mindfulness is trending these days. Spread your yoga mat on the floor next to your desk. If you work from the office, ask co-workers to make way. Sit cross-legged and begin meditating. Now, relax.
Did that one prospect you were relying on to meet your quota just disappear from radar? Take a deep breath.
Your manager just summoned you for a chat in their office to discuss your poor performance? No biggie. Take a deep breath.
A prospect just cussed you out for not lowering your quote despite you making every effort to genuinely help them out? Take a deep breath.
About to lose your job? You know the drill.
“Just keep on connecting till you land on a goldmine.”
Want to know the secret to cracking sales? Send one hundred random Linkedin connection requests a day. Because sales is obviously a numbers game. The more people you connect with, the more opportunities.
At least one of those one hundred daily connections will eventually become a customer, right? If that doesn’t work, you could spam the masses. Send emails in bulk. Post links to your landing pages in the comments sections of random Linkedin groups. There’s no end to the opportunities!
“Keep on trying. Never give up!”
It doesn’t matter if your lead is from a totally different industry. It doesn’t matter if they’re an intern. It doesn’t matter if it’s a local convenience store with no real use for your software product.
It doesn’t matter if they’ve made it clear they have no plans to switch from your competitor to you. If you try hard enough, they’ll have to buy. The universe will manifest it for you.
Follow up non-stop. It could take days, weeks, months, or even years of follow-up emails.
Conclusion
These oracles want the best for you, and that’s why they’re offering you advice, however useless it may be. Nonetheless, it requires a tremendous reserve of patience to listen to this nonsense.
All you need is to keep trying, keep smiling, and keep taking deep breaths. And the 6sense chrome extension; you’ll need that, too. We think it’s the option that will help you the most.
